Australian
Screen

an NFSA website

If Only – Series 1 Episode 3 (2003)

play
clip About my mother education content clip 1, 2, 3

Original classification rating: PG. This clip chosen to be PG

Clip description

AJ Rochester is a feisty thirty something who describes the day she met her birth mother and how surprised she was to discover it was the attractive woman who ran the local pub.

Curator’s notes

by Janet Bell

AJ Rochester is a single mother who, unlike her own birth mother, has a strong and loving relationship with her own child, a three-year-old son.

Unfortunately, the relationship with her birth mother was fraught and her mother then died before AJ could sort things out with her. To AJ’s everlasting and deep regret, her mother died before she saw her grandson.

A fascinating example of the dreams we like to invent for ourselves. In this case, AJ Rochester had built castles in the air about who her mother might be. Knowing finally who her mother really was didn’t solve any of the problems AJ had thought it would. She lives now with a very real regret that she was possibly too young and too immature to deal with the issues that confronted her just after she met her mother for the first time.

Teacher’s notes

provided by The Le@rning FederationEducation Services Australia

This clip shows AJ recalling her reunion with Kaelene, her biological mother, who had given AJ up for adoption in order to pursue a modelling career. The story is told through interviews with AJ and her friend Zoe, re-creation and photographs. AJ mentions that Kaelene changed her mind about the adoption but could not reclaim her baby. A split screen conveys different viewpoints in some scenes, such as when the women arrive at Kaelene and Hans’s house, and supplies illustration while AJ is speaking in interview.

Educational value points

  • The clip describes the reunion between AJ who had been given up for adoption and Kaelene, her biological mother, and helps to explain why such events can be difficult for both parties. AJ is disappointed, having imagined a fairytale reunion, and Kaelene is at first uncertain as to whether AJ or Zoe is her daughter. Counselling is now offered to biological parents and adoptees to address the range of feelings that may ensue when contact is made or sought.
  • Kaelene gave her daughter up for adoption when doing so was a more common practice among young pregnant unmarried women than it is today. Prior to the 1970s community attitudes were more critical of unmarried mothers. Safe abortions were privately available but highly expensive and the contraceptive pill was considered a luxury item. Other difficulties for young mothers at the time were a lack of financial support and affordable childcare facilities.
  • AJ gained access to information about her birth mother due to legislation passed in all states and territories between 1984 and 1994. Adoption legislation introduced in the 1920s had ensured that secrecy was maintained around the adoption process due to the stigma associated with illegitimacy. This secrecy continued in the 1950s and 60s. The new legislation enabled adopted people over 18 and birth parents to access information relating to the adoption.
  • The rights of all parties involved in an adoption are now protected by legislation in all Australian states, but if there is a conflict the rights of the child will prevail. If Kaelene was to relinquish her child for adoption today she could indicate her wish to maintain contact with her child or for a relative to do so. Adopted people who are over the age of 18 can apply for a copy of their birth certificate, giving them information about birth parents, siblings and half-siblings.
  • In some states and territories a system of ‘contact vetoes’ was established to protect the rights of those who had been given an undertaking at the time of the adoption that information pertaining to it would remain secret. Access to the birth certificate would then be allowed only if the person seeking it signed an undertaking that they would not try to contact the other person. Some argue that this system contradicts the principle of openness in contemporary adoption.
  • A variety of filmic techniques is used to convey the drama and emotion of the reunion that AJ describes. A re-creation of her arrival at the house by car with her friend Zoe is shown and the split screen conveys different views of the scene. A split screen is also employed at one point to illustrate the story AJ is telling, by showing photographs of her mother. Both AJ and Zoe are animated storytellers as they recall awkward moments in the reunion.